How Do I Pursue A Discipling Relationship? - July 14, 2016

This Sunday, we were preaching from Philippians 2:19-30 on the Harderwyk campuses and spoke to the "transfer of the gospel" that we see between Paul and his co-workers Timothy and Epaphroditus as Paul sends them to minister to the Philippians church in his absence.

On Monday I stumbled across a wonderful post by Aubrey Coleman on the Gospel Coalition website called "How Do I Pursue A Discipling Relationship in My Church?"  It is set in the context of women discipling women in the local church, so men can change the pronouns where needed, but I found it to be a helpful extension of Sunday, so I've excerpted it below:

How Do I Pursue A Discipling Relationship in My Church?

Aubrey Coleman

Though most of us would acknowledge the importance of discipleship, we often struggle to find and pursue those relationships in our own lives. As we think about someone in our church who might help us walk faithfully, obediently, and humbly with God, here are a few things to keep in mind.

Who Is Faithful?

When considering meeting up with someone, simply ask yourself, Is she faithful? Referencing Titus 2:1–7 is a great foundation for understanding what faithfulness looks like. Is she a member of my church? Does she serve faithfully in her season of life? Does she show up when she says she will? Does she encourage others? Does she love God’s Word?

You should be able to quickly identify faithful men and women in your church. If you’re having trouble discerning, ask your elders and pastors to recommend faithful saints you can reach out to.

Whom Do I Connect Easily With?

Among the many faithful, whom do you connect with? You may have a great connection with someone instantly. In some situations, you will naturally serve alongside other men and women who are already making a spiritual investment in you. Discipleship can certainly happen organically, but we can’t always expect it to happen that way. It may take more time and effort. It might even look a bit like taking someone on a date! Don’t be hesitant. Invite someone out to coffee and get to know her.

Were you encouraged by your conversation? Do you desire to learn from her? Is it easy to share your life with her? Is it easy to have spiritual conversations?

Just Ask

We may try to overcomplicate it, overthink it, or wait around to be sought out, but there’s no need to formulate a paragraph text or come up with an elaborate discipleship proposal. Just ask! If anyone comes to me discouraged about a lack of discipling relationships, I first ask: “Have you initiated with anyone?” More likely than not, when we reach out to others, they are encouraged by our pursuit. It is deeply rewarding and humbling to be asked to disciple someone.

This doesn’t mean everyone will be able to say yes, but that is the beauty of pursuing more than one discipling relationship. Our dependency for accountability shouldn’t rest on one person, but many members. If you’re a member of a church, you have committed yourselves to build up one another in the faith. Therefore, discipleship shouldn’t be an exclusive relationship among a few people but a normal pursuit among all members of the church.

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