More Than A Question of Pronouns: Considering a Recent Lawsuit Against Rockford School District

I was winding down on a Tuesday afternoon when a headline in my Google News caught my attention:  Michigan Parents Sue School District for Allegedly Hiding Autistic Dauther's Gender Transition.  WHOA! CLICK HERE for full article.

I gave it a quick skim and learned:

• The student was a Rockford high school freshman on the autism spectrum.
• Parents, working with a school psychologist to help their daughter, received a report that referred to their daughter with a male name and pronouns.
• The parents pursued and began to realize that multiple people connected with the school had facilitated their daughter's "gender transition." This included books given to the student and doctored reports that went home to parents with name and pronouns altered to conceal what was being done at school.
• This had apparently been going on since 7th grade.
• Upon inquiry, the parents were told by the principle that the child's demands supersede parental rights under school policy.

I marked the post for future reference and went in to help with dinner.

To my surprise, while preparing dinner no more than an hour after reading the article, I saw this news segment on our local TV station with this headline: Parents Sue Rockford Shool District Over Pronouns.  CLICK HERE for the transcript and video in full.  Here is one paragraph: "In May of 2022, the student asked the counselor to tell teachers to use he/him pronouns and a masculine name when referring to the student. That fall, as the then-13-year-old entered 8th grade, teachers referred to the student with he/him pronouns and used the student’s preferred masculine name, but the school did not notify the parents."

Imagine the impact on everyone who heard the TV report without the benefit of reading the article I had an hour earlier.

I am certain of several things at this point:

• I do not have all the information about this situation.  For my part, I will continue to collect and consider information as I can find it. Listen, learn and pray for discernment.
• This situation is not likely to go quietly into the night.
• This situation is about FAR MORE than a grammar dispute.

It is the worst sort of trivializing to treat the many aspects of this situation as if it were no more than a matter of preferred pronouns.  Regardless of the options one chooses when considering gender transition, there are consequences, risks and unknowns that need to be openly and carefully considered.  Here are just a few in summary form:

• There is a young woman's life and future on the line here.
• Pro-transition folks will often say, "affirm the transition or risk suicide."  A growing body of research and the emerging stories of "De-transitioners" make me think the pro-folks have greatly oversimplified the potential problems.  This is a set of decisions fraught with difficulty and risk of all sorts.  My heart and prayers go out for teens and their parents who enter into these questions.
• Puberty blockers have known risks for brain development and bone development that last a life-time.
• Trust between parents and schools will be further strained.  Old folks - like me - tell stories about getting in trouble in school and facing consequences at home.  If I dis-respected my teacher, I was dis-respecting my dad was the reasoning at that time.  When I was later involved in leading a church-based school in the 2010's I saw how that perspective had changed!  This situation in Rockford - and others like it that are springing up - only aggrevate that problem.  
• Policies like the one in Rockford leave teachers especially in a real squeeze.  They become required by policy to withhold information from parents that may be more consequential than a class grade.

There are nuances, values, unknowns, misinformation and profound consequences permeating the wide-ranging collection of issues that surface in this young person's life and her parent's law suit.  I suspect that there are no one-sentence answers.

But treating this as no more than a dispute over pronouns as our local TV stations have, only makes a healthy outcome more difficult to reach.  And for my convictions, this young woman and her parents deserve more support, understanding, honesty and compassion than that.

As a pastor, I find myself in relationship with and serving people in my congregation who are facing these same questions with children, family, friends and nighbors.  The question of gender dysphoria is not a simply a concept to be understood or discussed.  It now has a face of someone we know and with whom we will interact.

For those who find themselves facing these new situations and questions, I am committed to providing:

• Godly counsel growing out of prayer, the Scriptures and the wisdom of other believers through history.
• Best understanding I can of the issues involved from reliable resources - medical and psycholgical research in particular
• Honest presence for as long as needed.  Along this journey, people will be welcome to call me or worship with my congregation whether you take my counsel or agree with me.  The gospel calls us "to love as we have been loved." (John 13:34)

As always, if you would like to talk more, let's find a way to connect in some way: over the phone, over coffee or whatever is appropriate.  Simply call the Harderwyk Ministries office and they can help make arrangements.