What's A Pastor To Do? Pastoral Care for Those Considering Gender Transition

Here's a real experience from my life as a pastor in these tumultous times.  I share it not so much that you know what I face, but that you might get a clearer sense of the significance of some of the changes that are happening all around us.  I'll keep a few of the names/situations obscured to protect specific people's private lives and decisions.

It was mid-June, 2022 and I was winding down the day skimming headlines.  I stopped and read the entire New York Times article entitled: The Battle Over Gender Therapy.  Posted June 15, 2022 by Emily Bazelon it is a 22-page pdf in my files.  CLICK HERE for the entire article.

The article is extensive and seems well-researched.  It felt like conversations with real people - medical researchers, young people considering gender transition and their families.  I came away with the impression that there is far more that is unsettled regarding the matter of gender transition with teens than is settled.  Research was thin and conclusions seemed all over the map.  European countries are backing away from what are called "gender-affirming therapies" because of lack of evidence on which to base policy.

There were interviews with young people who had considered gender transition and not gone on, those who had started and stopped as well as those who had completed.  There was a lot to ponder and think about.

The VERY NEXT MORNING, we received an unsolicited email from a distant acquaintance - more a commercial relationship than personal friendship - who laid out the story of their own child making the gender transition beginning - as I recall -  in middle school.  I was immediately taken by the difference in tone between the NY Times and this local acquaintance.  This person was exuberant about the change for their child, positive about the future, thankful to all who had helped and closing with what I have found common in listening to these stories: If I/you/we do not affirm and support a request for gender transition by anyone - regardless of age - we push them towards suicide.  Ouch!

Two thoughts:

This transition or suicide binary does not seem to be the case.  As best I can tell at this point: anyone considering gender transition will have a higher incidence of suicide across the next five years than the general population whether they transition or not.  This is a hard reality if this holds up over time.

If I had dared - or had the opportunity - to point this parent towards the NY Times article that I had read the night before, would I be seen as indifferent to their situation and putting their child at risk for suicide?

As always, if you would like to talk more, let's find a way to connect in some way: over the phone, over coffee or whatever is appropriate.  Simply call the Harderwyk Ministries office and they can help make arrangements.